Vic Mensa on Kanye West's rants, shoplifting in Macy's and meeting the Queen ...

Meeting on the top floor of London's Ace Hotel, Vic Mensa looked right at home. Surrounded by his entourage and perfectly at ease with his different-city-every-night schedule, it's been a crazy year by anyone's standards. Since announcing his solo career in 2013, after the breakup of his band Kid These Days, he featured on Chance the Rapper's critically acclaimed mixtape Acid Rap, toured with J Cole and released INNANETAPE - officially earning his title as Chicago's one to watch. Following this week's release of 'Down On My Luck', the debut single from his new EP Street Lights, Mensa talks to GQ about why you should never work out, meeting Madonna without realising it and why he's partial to a wearing high heels from time to time...

GQ: You've performed at countless festivals this year but what would you say is your worst gig of all time? Vic Mensa: Damn, my worst gig? Probably something with my band. I mean we used to play a lot of really small bar gigs with no sound system, shit like that. But those weren't that bad. It was probably one of the J Cole dates I did because the tour was so big. I hadn't put out nearly any of my solo music yet and I was on early so people were still walking in and shit like that. I don't think I've ever had like a show where I've been booed off stage but on the J Cole tour people just didn't care because they were there to see J Cole. Some of those shows were good though but some of them just weren't the best.

What festival should everybody go to at least once in their life? Lollapalooza in Chicago. Man, Lollapalooza's crazy. It's one of those festivals that just has the best lineup. And Wireless, they seem to have had the best line up of any festival this year - it's like they get everybody dope in one weekend.

What question are you bored of answering already? Describe yourself. I feel like I should be able to describe myself through better questions.

What do men wear in nightclubs that they really shouldn't? Big muscles. N*****s look dumb. I was in Vegas with J Cole the other day and it made me never want to work out. I've always been real skinny and because of that I've always had a six pack but since I'm more well off than I've ever been, I've been eating a lot more, so it's like the first time in my life I don't have a six pack. I'm cool with that though, in Vegas I was like 'all these dudes they just kind of get buff and go to the club', they look so stupid to me. They just look like meatheads.

You once tweeted that Kanye West is the best rap/alternative performance of all time but what do you think about his tendency to rant? I think he's real, it's dope. I was upset when people started booing at Wireless, he was saying real shit, honestly I didn't take that as being a rant. I was like 'if y'all boo Kanye one more time, I'm ready to knock ya out'. I know everyone's ready for Kanye West to be crazy, even if he takes a break or something but if he wasn't Kanye West they wouldn't have booed him for talking. If he was Drake, they wouldn't have booed him. Everybody's just so predisposed to see Kanye West as the villain. It wasn't a rant, it was just that he stripped 'Runaway' down and made it more intimate, he was just singing and talking.

What's your best recent clothes purchase? I have my man Stretch make these pants [points to his white, ripped denim jeans with zips]. He made me a white pair and a black pair because I was listening to 'London Calling' a lot and I'd been looking up photos of The Clash, I was just into all their zipper clothes. Also the leather sandals I wore at Wireless.

What musical trend needs to stop right now? People are overusing trap hi-hats. If I'm listening to soul records I don't need to hear trap hi-hats. I'm not mad at it, it's cool to see everyone taking influence from modern sounds but sometimes it just seems like fads happen and people get in the mind state like 'I have to do this to be current' when in reality it's kind of like, it's played out, it's not even current anymore.

In your video for 'Orange Soda', you preview Kenan & Kel but what TV do you never miss? I love Game of Thrones but I missed it every time cause I never watch TV and I'm not home a lot but I love Game of Thrones and before that, Entourage.

If you could party with any musician dead or alive, who would it be? Partying with Jimmy Hendrix, that would be bumpin'. I feel like Jimmy Hendrix had hella bitches [laughs].

What skill should every man have? The ability to tell the truth.

How would you sum up Chi-town's sound? Chicago's sound is of the heavens and the pavements. It's realistic, you know. It's not Hollywood, it's not the allure of Lower East Side of New York, or fashion or fame, Chicago's realistic.

You've said in the past that it's sometimes necessary to be selfish in a relationship - what would be your greatest advice for men trying to hold onto their girl? Say 'I'm sorry' [laughs]. That's the best advice I can give anybody, I don't know if I'm the best for relationship advice. I just say I'm sorry a lot, cause I've got to do what I've got to do but I'm sorry, you know?

Have you ever cheated death? Yeah I've cheated death a bunch of time. That's my whole thing. That's why I've got 'Still Alive' tattoo-ed on my stomach. I got electrocuted when I was 17, trying to sneak into Lollapalooza and the electricity went in my arm and came out of my elbow, 15 thousand volts [points to huge scar]. I fell off the bridge, I fell like 30 feet and lived. I was at a hospital for like 3 days, 2 nights and then the next day I flew to New York to go meet with Atlantic Records.

Your mixtape features Chance the Rapper and Eliza Doolittle - who would you most like to collaborate with? I mean, probably Kanye.

Where is the strangest place you've heard one of your tracks? Mexican strip club. Not true [laughs]. I wish though, that'd be tight. Somebody told me their grandma listens to my music, I thought that was pretty cool, little weird but kind of cool though, so somebody's grandma's bedroom is probably the weirdest place.

What's been a purchase on tour you've bought and then instantly regretted? I mean I'm Save Money [Mensa is a member of Save Money hip hop collective] so I don't really buy things and regret them but you know I bought these Wired 3 shoes in New York the other day. They look dope, they look kind of unisex, they have kind of a heel, like a wing tip almost, it's a women's shoe but it's not like really girly or some shit, it looks tight. My n****'s were giving me grief for buying a girl's shoe, it looked tight to me but they don't fit me at all [laughs]. I wore them the night I did the XXL shoot and then we went to the 44 club for some shit and I got so drunk I didn't feel it. I guess that how girls get by right? I tried to wear them the next day and it was just like f****** pain.

Can you recommend a good book? I like this book called 'Bomb the Suburbs' by this guy called William Upski Wimsatt. Or at least I really did like it when I was a kid. It's a Chicago graffiti book, it's not one of those graffiti picture books, it's more like stories of hip hop culture and stuff, it's dope, it's a great book.

When were you last starstruck? Madonna was at one of [rapper] Chance's shows with Frank Ocean in LA and I didn't even know she was Madonna, she was disguised, introducing herself as someone else. Once I found out it was Madonna I was like 'damn, that's crazy'. But I can't remember being too starstruck too recently. It can go one of four ways [with celebrities], people are like indifferent, know me, they're nice or assholes. In no situation does it like stop me in my tracks. Madonna was nice, she was cool.

What should no man have in his wardrobe? Every man should do what they wanna do, you know, do what they feel like but they shouldn't wear white socks with the boat shoes, that's for sure. No white socks and boat shoes.

Which lyric are you most proud of writing? 'Ya bitch, ya' [laughs] I didn't write that though, Soulja Boy did. If I did write that though I'd be most proud of it.

Which band would you like to see reform? I'm sad I didn't see the Guns N' Roses Vegas show when I was with J Cole. I don't even know who would have been on stage. I know they don't like each other but it seems like it would have been fun to see.

What was the best record in your parent's collection? 'Kind of Blue' by Miles Davis.

What's a Vic Mensa groupie like? You know all groupies are unique, they're not typical. Young, under 18 maybe, I don't even really know. Young, thirsty, parched.

Have you ever stolen anything? Yes, I stole hella shit.

Did you get caught? We used to boost stuff from Macy's and other department stores in Chicago when I was at high school. The big craze was True Religion jeans and Rock & Republic. Before they were like big hood items, now they're like hood classics. So one time I was stealing some Trues, I may have had like three pairs or something, I'm going down the escalator, I heard this dude behind me, I can hear the radio going 'put the bag down, tell him to put the bag down and he won't be arrested' and so I took the hint [laughs]. I didn't get arrested, and the police weren't outside either, I was spooked though.

What's the most important item on your rider? Hi-Chews, Japanese candy. Good shit, really good shit.

What's the strangest gift you've ever received from a fan? This isn't that strange but this kid gave me a bad painting of myself that he was trying to give me for a long time [laughs]. It just wasn't very good, so I was trying to avoid it, I was just mad because he'd done a better painting of somebody else and I saw it and then mine was weak [laughs].

What do people get wrong about you? For sometime people thought I was an asshole because sometimes I come off really arrogantly in interviews, but it was only really one or two. I did an interview with Nardwuar and I was kind of being an asshole but I was more like having fun because Nardwuar is a weirdo. I was just f****** with him because his whole style is to put the microphone all in your face and he digs as deep as any interviewer anywhere, always bringing up really random shit from your past and stuff, you're like 'how does he know that?' But yeah, people think I'm an asshole because of that but I'm actually pretty nice most of the time.

What's the most expensive thing you've currently wearing? My Acne leather jacket.

Have you ever been fired from a job? Yes. I was a dishwasher at a deli by my house in Chicago. I officially got fired for going to a college seminar but I think he knew that I was like stealing cookies and chips and pops the whole time [laughs].

Have you ever fired a gun? Yeah, only a shotgun. My uncle lives in upstate New York so he has hunting guns and stuff so I've shot a shotgun, and a riffle when I was way younger.

Who is your best-dressed British man? I really don't look at the way men dress all that often, especially not currently, I'm not that type of dude.

What's the worst job you've ever had? You know the deli job wasn't that bad because they were hippie-ish, so I could smoke before I came and just be high as hell scrubbing dishes. And I got free sandwiches and they were just so f****** good. I was eating extra good when I worked there but I never really had a bad job because I haven't had too many jobs.

What's the worst thing a critic has ever said about you? I don't know. F*** critics.

Have you ever had sex to one of your own records? Yeah. Definitely. It made the song and the sex better but I'm sure they were amazing on their own.

What's your hangover cure? Turn up, drink more or smoke.

What's your karaoke song? I've never done karaoke, but I want to do karaoke. I'd pick Purple Rain [by Prince].

What's the best thing you can cook? Bacon and fried egg sandwich [laughs]. Real easy with that runny yolk.

Have you ever seen a dead body? Chicago's pretty violent so one time I was at a studio I used to record at, like 16 or something, and there was a car at this gas station with a bloody windscreen, with a dude inside presumably with his brains blown out. That's probably as close as I've been to a dead body.

When was the last time you threw a punch? Recently I've been mellowed and on the peaceful shit because a lot of people mistake strength for violence but New Year's Eve we did have to beat this n***** up because he was talking hella shit. When I came to this party at New Year's Eve, my friend was f****** with me, he went to go get this kid who must of been a fan of mine or something. He came out and was just like 'ahh Vic Mensa' and I didn't care until he came up to me and he was being extra annoying, all in my face. I'm trying to chill and he's like 'you and Chance, you guys beefing? You got a beef man?' and I was just like 'yo, leave me alone' [laughs]. He got extra mad and stormed off and later I saw him drunk on a wall and my friends were tapping his pockets, you know, [laughs] robbing him. I don't think they were unprovoked, they said he was running around saying I was like a 'bitch' and harassing the girls we were hanging out with. Talking shit and touching them and wouldn't leave. I think the biggest problem when a n***** gets knocked out is that they don't take their opportunity to go home [laughs]. Exit the scene. I pushed him when we got to the elevator and knocked him real quick, pimped off.

What word or phrase do you overuse the most? And shit.

Describe the way you dance. Heavenly. Like an electro sex machine.

How would you like to be remembered? In a blaze of glory.

'Down On My Luck' is out now (Virgin EMI).

Follow Alice Howarth on Twitter at @alicejrhowarth.

Kim Kardashian, an Unlikely Mobile Video Game Hit

A Kim Kardashian smartphone game sounds like a joke waiting for a punchline. But Ms. Kardashian and the maker of Kim Kardashian: Hollywood are laughing all the way to the bank.

On Wednesday, during its second-quarter earnings call with investors, Glu Mobile, the company that developed the game, said the game generated $1.6 million in revenue during its first five days on the market, in late June. And the hot sales have continued. The game is now the fifth highest-grossing game on Apple's App Store. The company said it expected tens of millions of people around the world to download the game on their iPhone or Android phones, even through the game is available only in English.

Kim Kardashian: Hollywood has sharp graphics, and the premise is simple. It drops players into the celebrity world and challenges them to improve their social standing, build careers and accumulate wealth and fans. Players navigate through tasks like booking jobs, making friends and going on dates, and the occasional appearance from the cartoon version of Ms. Kardashian herself. For those who keep up with the Kardashian family and brand, it is riddled with insider jokes and winks about the family and its history.

The game is free to download and play, but it sells in-app purchases for things like additional energy and 'K-stars,' which can be used to buy special hairstyles, accessories and clothing. Although players don't have to spend money to advance in the game play, they are clearly enticed to indulge on the fancier items available for sale - imitating Ms. Kardashian's own high-spending ways. One analyst estimated that the game could bring in as much as $200 million annually.

Claudia Oropeza, a spokeswoman for Glu Mobile, which makes games like Deer Hunter and Dino Hunter, said that the company wanted to develop a casual, role-playing game and sought out Ms Kardashian as 'the best brand fit in the world.'

The company reached out to Ms. Kardashian in early 2013 about a potential partnership, the company's first with a public figure, and development took around 18 months. The company declined to disclose details about the deal with Ms. Kardashian. But it has called the game its most successful yet and said that Ms. Kardashian received royalties.

Glu Mobile said that the game had had a 'tremendous performance.' Glu's revenue in the last quarter rose 50 percent, to $35 million, even though the game was around for only a few days in the quarter. Shares in Glu have shot up nearly 40 percent in the last month, and 145 percent in the last year, although they fell about 9 percent in after-hours trading on Wednesday.

'We now expect to generate more revenue in the second half of 2014 than we did for the entirety of 2013,' Niccolo de Masi, Glu's chief executive, said in a conference call with investors.

The company also said the early frenzy around the game would probably settle out, but that it planned to extend the game's longevity by rolling out localized versions of the game, to help its global appeal, as well as continue to roll out updates that correlate with Ms. Kardashian's real-world life and events.

The game's early popularity is reminiscent of other popular mobile games, such as Angry Birds, Candy Crush and Dots. The game and references to it have spread across Twitter, Tumblr and Instagram and have led to extended discussions about the game'S addictiveness and its sly ode to celebrity culture and Ms. Kardashian's business savvy.

Ms. Kardashian has lent more than her likeness and voice to the game. She has been promoting it on her Instagram and Twitter accounts, as well as posting sneak previews for coming updates to the game.

'It is a narrative, and it can be extended infinitely,' Mr. de Masi said about the longevity of the game.

The game is not Ms. Kardashian's first dabbling in technology entrepreneurship. In 2009, she helped found a subscription-based shoe called ShoeDazzle, which raised upwards of $60 million in venture capital before being acquired by another online fashion service called JustFab.

The popularity and early success of the game is a testament to many things, including the importance of the network effect when it comes to building awareness around the game. It also illustrates the newfound potential for mobile games to be as lucrative and successful as more traditional partnerships and endorsement deals for a new generation of multifaceted, digitally savvy celebrities like Ms. Kardashian who are fluent across multiple platforms, including television and social media.

'There will be a lot of opportunities to work with Kim to expand her brand and awareness,' Mr. de Masi said. 'Ultimately, she's just getting started.'

Kim Kardashian Divorce Option: Kanye West Abandons Kim Physically and ...

Will you look at that, Kim Kardashian finally grew a pair. According to recent reports, Kim's decided divorce is an option and that she's not going to stand for Kanye West constantly abandoning her and flying off to Paris to hang with his gay lover BFF Riccardo Tisci. Kim no longer wants to stay at home while Kanye embarks on his endless tours and concerts, and she apparently feels like it's high time Kanye spent some quality time with her and North West. After all, Kim is no stranger to quickie divorces, is she?

Oh, this is hilarious. Basically, Kim wants to go on tour with Kanye and not have to worry about taking care of North West. She wants to go to Paris with Kanye and go to the Givenchy fashion show, but she doesn't want to do any work when she's there. In other words, Kim wants Kanye to take her with him so they can BOTH abandon North West at home. They've done it numerous times before, but lately, Kanye's been going solo with his abandonment - and Kim is not happy.

Granted, I still don't think she has the guts to tell Kanye to his face that she has any problems with him. She will never, ever take the chance that he'll get upset and leave her, especially now that people have reached the limit of their Kardashian exposure in the media. Ain't nobody wants to hear about Kim's marriage drama anymore, unless it involves a possible divorce. On that note, perhaps this whole story was manufactured by Kris Jenner to keep Kim's name in the news? When it comes to the Kardashian, anything is possible. And by anything, I mean random acts of fame-whoring, followed by suspicious media leaks concerning a 'divorce'.

Uh Oh! Kanye West And Kim Kardashian At Odds Already

' Gone For Good This Time? Maksim Chmerkovskiy Insists He's Done Dancing With The Stars | Home | Feud Alert! Kim Kardashian Defends Rob Kardashian, Blasts Adrienne Bailon '

July 29, 2014 04:30 PM by Lisa Princ

Ever since Kim Kardashian and Kanye West tied the knot back in May, many Twitter followers have been wondering how long these two would last, because we all know what a great track record Kardashian has when it comes to men. And now, rumor has it that the newlyweds are already at odds. Uh oh, what happened to their wedded bliss?

After Kim Kardashian's pathetic 72 day marriage to Kris Humphries, it is no shock that everyone is skeptical that her marriage to Kanye West will be any different. And the happy newlyweds are not so happy after all. In fact, according to a new report from our friends at Radar Online, they have been fighting and are at odds already!

So, what has these two battling already? Another child! One source dished to the site: 'Kim has made no secret for her desire to get pregnant right away with another baby. However, Kanye is resisting because he is going to be going on a world wide tour after the release of his upcoming album. The couple doesn't even have their own house to live in! It's just too much chaos for Kanye to handle.'

Meanwhile, other rumors are flying that claim Kim is pissed that Kanye has been spending so much time on his album and not enough time with her. However, another source claims that Kanye feels that Kim spends too much time relaxing. Yeah that sound about right.

How much longer to do you think these two will last before calling it quits?

It's your turn to sound off Facebook fans! Are Kim Kardashian and Kanye West doomed? How long will their marriage last? We know you have an opinion and we want to hear it, so feel free to sound off in the comments section below!

MORE ON KEEPING UP WITH THE KARDASHIANS Khloe Kardashian Has No Regrets About Lamar OdomKim Kardashian Feels Working Moms Can Have It AllKendall Jenner Steals The Spotlight During Chanel Haute Couture Show

Photo Credit: WENN

Topics: E! Reality TV Shows, Keeping Up With The Kardashians, Kim Kardashian | ' Gone For Good This Time? Maksim Chmerkovskiy Insists He's Done Dancing With The Stars | Home | Feud Alert! Kim Kardashian Defends Rob Kardashian, Blasts Adrienne Bailon '

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'KUWTK' Khloe, Kourtney and Kim Kardashian Pregnant for New Hamptons ...

Rumors are once again flying that Keeping Up with the Kardashians' Khloe and Kim Kardashian are pregnant, following their sister Khloe's baby bump announcement. Regardless of whether she is pregnant or not, Khloe will be appearing aside Kourtney in their new Hampton's show. These latest developments come after rumors that Kourtney may be breaking up with her longtime baby daddy, Scott Disick, and Khloe Kardashian's well-publicized divorce filing.

Fans of the Kardashians could get what they've always wanted...all three Kardashian sisters being pregnant at once. Though, that seems highly unlikely.

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The frenzy first got started when Kourtney announced that she was expecting her third child on their hit E! show. After surprising Scott and the rest of the world, baby bump fever broke.

The July 28 print edition of magazine now claims that Kim is pregnant too. According to one source who spoke with the publication, that would explain Kim's recent weight gain:

'The amount she has been eating recently has people sure she's pregnant again. She's usually careful about what she eats...Kim has gained weight and she knows it...She wanted to get pregnant in the winter when she could hibernate.'

Kim's not the only Kardashian sister rumored to be pregnant. That distinction also belongs to younger sister Khloe.

Khloe's baby bump rumors seem to stem from a misleading People article titled, 'Khloe Kardashian: 'I Feel Like I've Been Pregnant for 6 years!''

While the article makes it seem like Khloe is currently pregnant, the quote was taken out of context. Khloe was simply telling People about how she feels when she sees all of the tabloids' cover stories:

'I used to get offended, like, 'Do I look fat today?' or 'Why are they saying that?' But they just say it.'

What do you think about the latest rumors? Are Khloe and Kim really pregnant too?

We want to hear from you. Tell us your thoughts in the comment field below.

Kapitalism, With Kim Kardashian

What is it like to be Kim Kardashian? What is it like to live her life, and know her mind, and walk a mile in her rhinestone-studded stilettos?

You probably have not asked such questions, partly because it would be extremely uncomfortable to walk any more than a few feet in Kim Kardashian's shoes, but also because Kim herself does not seem to be terribly interested in engendering empathy. There are generally two types of Young Female Celebrity: the ones whose personas are based on their personalities-the ones who, in interviews, drop f-bombs and mention The Method and talk about Hollywood's treatment of women-and the ones who attempt to transcend their own pesky personhoods in the name of Fame itself. It's not a sharp divide-they are all, on some level, objectified, and they are all, on some level, on Twitter. But it comes down to a difference between those celebrities who primarily want to be heard, and those who primarily want to be seen.

Kim Kardashian, she of the airbrushed cheeks and the synthetic lashes and the lips glossed in paradoxical shades of Nude, falls squarely into the 'wants to be seen' category. She has a doll-like quality, like an American Girl who grew up to become a mannequin. She is plasticine. Her favorite activity seems to be posing. As a self-conjurer-as a Whitmanesque singer of herself-Kim is prolific. There are the reality TV shows, certainly, and the sex tape, but there are also the US Weekly spreads and the red carpet appearances and the endless stream of mirror selfies. There are, inevitably, the meta-selfies. Kim gives an age newly obsessed with self-documentation a perfectly vacant-stared mascot. Her preferred medium, the TV shows and the sex tape notwithstanding, is the photograph. And photos are extremely good at making their subjects seen and not heard.

* * *

So while Kim Kardashian may in fact be flesh and blood, while she may have a mind and a heart and, if we can be a little presumptuous about it, a soul-and while there may well be a rich inner life trembling beneath all those layers of hair spray and spray tan and StudioFix Powder Plus -what makes Kim Kardashian so supremely Kim Kardashian is that you're never quite sure, with her, about the stuff that isn't stuff. What is Kim like, actually, as a person? That question makes a lot of assumptions. Whatever thoughts Kim may have as a Self remain, like her pores, generally hidden from view; in the Kardashian cosmology-er, the Kosmology-one's humanity is generally something to be disguised rather than displayed.

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There is something refreshingly honest about this. There is something, literally, daring about it. Knowingly or not, Kim takes Hollywood's basest expectations about women-its treatment of them as, essentially, walking sex dolls-and doubles down. Was this what you wanted? Kim's Spandex would like to know. Kim is self-satirizing, certainly, but it's an especially cutting form of satire. By laughing at herself, she also laughs at a system that allows for a Kim Kardashian to exist in the first place. (At the recent, lavish wedding that made Kimye a matter of legal concern, Kanye West gave a 45-minute toast. It was not about his new bride. It was about the nature of celebrity.) So while Kim Kardashian is certainly not the first person to be famous for being famous, she embraces her own shiny nihilism with a gusto that is, in its way, novel.

And also, in its way, rare. It has become trendy for other celebrities in Kim's peer group, upon realizing the impermanence of their nubility, to outwit the inevitable by turning themselves into ' lifestyle brands.' Gwyneth would like to share some hard-won truths about yoga and breakups and vegan s'mores. Blake has some pressing thoughts about olive oil. Lauren wants to sell you a pencil skirt that manages to be sassy and practical at the same time. Ambient commercialism has turned a certain subset of our stars into walking SkyMall catalogs, and this probably says a lot about The Way We Live Now, especially since most of the meditation-peddlers don't actually walk so much as they teeter precariously upon six-inch Louboutins while posing for the paparazzi.

But Kim! Kim steadfastly refuses to sell anything but herself. Or, to be more specific, she refuses to sell anything but the image of herself. She will feign no interest in baking or knitting or meditating. She seems to have no thoughts whatsoever about kale. She seems to have no thoughts, really, about much of anything. And therein lies her particular gift. She is a human, we can safely assume-she puts her Spanx on one leg at a time-but being human is, by definition, ordinary. And Kim is, by her own definition, extraordinary. She is a person who is also A Way of Life. She is her own ecosystem. She is her own value system.

* * *

That is the premise, at least, of Kim Kardashian: Hollywood, an app that is also a game that is also, now, a phenomenon. ('It might be our biggest game of the year,' Niccolo de Masi, CEO of the app-maker Glu Mobile Inc., told Bloomberg.)

The game is free to download and play; but it allows-and encourages-in-app purchases. You use real-world money to win at Kim World. Which has meant, among other things, that Kim Kardashian is becoming even more explicitly what a reality star always will be, underneath it all: an entrepreneur. While she has long ranked among the highest-paid of the reality ('reality') stars-her estimated net worth, as of this June, was $45 million-the game is on track to earn $200 million, with Kim's 45-percent cut coming in at $90 million. So you can accuse Kim Kardashian of vanity or vapidity or any manner of metaphor, but, if you do, she will laugh all the way to the bank. And then, probably, use the ATM mirror to reapply her mascara.

But back to the game. In it, Kim is a cartoon. So are you. You play a character who works in an L.A. clothing boutique, but who is-obviously-destined for greater things than working in an L.A. clothing boutique. (This is obvious because the character you play is cute, and be-stiletto-ed, and small-waisted-and-big-everything-elsed, and in form very much like Kim Kardashian.)

In very short order, your boutique-So Chic, it is called-is visited by ... Kim Kardashian. Which is not just a cool thing, but a useful thing. It is An Opportunity, and you are meant to take advantage of it. (Taking advantage is a big theme of Kim Kardashian: Hollywood.) You are given two options: stay open late and help Kim get an outfit for a party she's attending ... or refuse her. (The game, however, will not actually let you refuse. Striving, in this moral universe, means always saying yes.)

So things continue apace. Your relationship with Kim grows. (Like everything else in the game, however, Kim is merely a means to end, and that end is Fame.) Kim, being magnanimous, invites you to a photo shoot; you go to said photo shoot; you go, afterward, to a party. And to more parties. And to more parties, each of escalating awesomeness. In each setting, you are given a set of tasks to complete and also a series of binary options: either take Kim's call or don't; either spend money on new clothes or wear something old; either flirt with a fellow named Dirk or network with him. The game has three primary currencies (Kurrencies?): energy (which comes in the form of little lightning bolts), money, and K-stars, which are basically a combination of the two others, and which sociologists might prefer to call 'capital.' You can expend K-stars on 'charm.' Which you can in turn deploy to help you to climb, socially, from the E list to the A list.

And that is the point of the game.

There is a brute logic to all of this. There is also an economic essentialism to all of this. Every possible move in the game that is Kim Kardashian: Hollywood represents a strategic violation of the categorical imperative: The whole point is to use anything available to you-goods, money, other people-as means to your own self-furtherment. This is capitalism, essentially, stripped of its remaining niceties and applied to the unique vapidity of Hollywood social life.

Kim Kardashian: Hollywood is the game that Ayn Rand might have written, had Ayn Rand lived in the age of the smartphone and been a fan of bodycon skirts. It is what happens when objectification gives way to objectivism. 'This game is so freakin stupid,' iTunes customer Dmon555 complained, before giving it a 5-star rating.

In the Android store, Kim Kardashian: Hollywood is sold under the category of 'Adventure.' And this is where Kim really gets the last laugh. Because the adventure being undertaken is, essentially, to become Kim Kardashian. It is to mimic her life-the striving, the posing, the stubborn conviction that fame is its own reward. And it is also, outside of the game's ecosystem, to help Kim Kardashian to realize her own quest to become Kim Kardashian. The game equates Kardashian with Hollywood itself; it might as well have thought more grandly. Kim Kardashian: Hollywood has made its way to Stephen Colbert. And to federal agencies, with the EPA mistakenly tweeting about the game. And to the House of Representatives, where John Dingell, D-MI, was recently compelled to declare, 'I have no idea who/what a Kardashian is.'

The thing is: He does now.

Inside Kim Kardashian and Kanye West's Newlywed Life

They're two of the busiest people in showbiz, but Kim Kardashian and Kanye West haven't let time apart hinder their enjoyment of their newlywed life.

And while life on the road for either can't be easy - though, honestly, private jets and exotic locations aren't so bad - it doesn't mean there's trouble in paradise.

'They wish they could be together all the time,' a source tells PEOPLE.

While they have certainly proved to be the world's most talked-about couple, the duo sure know how to keep a secret when they want to.

'Kanye flies back to see his family every time he can get away, even if only for a night,' says the source. 'They see each other a lot more than people realize - they just don't feel the need to publicize it every time.'

Those cherished moments together are all about family these days, and, for Kardashian, 33, and West, 37, that means spending all the time they can with daughter North West, 13 months, who just took her first steps.

'They really enjoy spending time at home,' explains the source. 'They watch movies together, play in the nursery ... go for walks around the neighborhood.'

Things may be hectic in Kimye-land, but that hasn't deterred the two from talking about their future as a family. 'They both want more kids,' says the source. 'That'll probably happen sooner than later.'

For more on Kim and Kanye's newlywed life, pick up the new issue of PEOPLE, on newsstands Friday