This weekend, the merger-ahem, marriage-between two of the most popular entertainment brands will be complete when Kim Kardashian weds Kanye West. It may feel like the couple's journey to the alter has been a long time coming, but that's just because we haven't been able to stop talking about the them, from Kim's butt, to Kanye's rage, to human compass point North West -also known as their baby.
With reported guests like Chrissy Teigen, Serena Williams and, of course, the entire Kardashian Klan (for all the details, check out TIME's definitive guide to w hat you need to know about the wedding), it's easy to imagine that the gift table will be overflowing. But a word to the wise: not all gifts are appreciated; Kim put Katie Couric on blast after she sent a baby gift but dissed the Kardashian fam to In Touch. So what should the esteemed guests get #theworldsmosttalkedaboutcouple, as Vogue anointed them on its April 2014 cover? We haven't a clue. So instead here's what not to get the couple that really does have everything.
1) An copy of the Ray J song, 'I Hit It First.' Because, um, he did.
2) Fake Nike Air Yeezys. Kanye won't hesitate to call you out.
3) Season tickets to the Boston Celtics, where Kim's ex-husband Kris Humphries now plays.
4) A Taylor Swift CD. Enough said.
5) An iTunes pass to season 39 of Saturday Night Live, featuring Nasim Pedrad's nasally impression of Kim on 'Waking Up With Kimye.'
6) A Baby Einstein DVD for North.
7) A pair of Jessica Simpson-brand stilettos. Surely they would clash with anything from the Kardashian Kollection the sisters design for Sears.
8) A copy of Final Cut Pro. We all know Kanye prefers Windows Movie Maker.
9) A couch upholstered in the floral fabric Kim wore to the Met Gala two years ago, even though Mrs. Doubtfire would approve.
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