Don't Hate Kim Kardashian. She's Just a Butt.

I really like Kim Kardashian. I usually have nothing but disdain for celebrities, or celebrities in training. There is not a thing less interesting, or useful in the world, than an 'artist' of dubious talent who has risen to fleeting fame because of sex connections, family connections, or money connections. But I think Kim is great. Here's why: She asks nothing of her fans. She's not all like: Download my new .mp3! Or: Sit through my new three-hour movie about the end of earth and how we all have to eat corn now! She hawks no talent. She knows what her best asset is, and she plays it up. She has a truly remarkable butt, so she showed it naked on the cover of Paper. Why go through the trouble of being a 'singer' or an 'actress' when you can just be a butt? Kim knows.

Also, the family dynamic displayed on Keeping Up With the Kardashians is nice. Staged or not, who cares. It's good TV, a lot better than most of the crap that's out there. It's interesting to watch how a modern family interacts through the burning lens of E!. I also enjoyed watching Kim and Kanye's relationship develop on screen. It was funny and endearing when Kanye hid in corners when he was on the show, like a ghost.

When pundits criticize the Kardashians, Kim especially, I become embarrassed for them. The latest offender is Sally Kohn, who wrote an abominable column in the Washington Post this week titled 'How the Kardashians exploit racial bias for profit.'

Apparently, the Kardashians, as a unit, are a slap in the face to racial justice and the situation in Ferguson (?) because they joke about race relations:

Just a week ago, Kim's sister Khloe Kardashian posted a picture on Instagram of herself, Kim and sister Kourtney Kardashian with the caption: ' The only KKK to ever let black men in.'

It's like saying, 'Hey, people of color, don't be so freaked out about the Ku Klux Klan threatening 'lethal force' against protesters in Ferguson because, ya know, the KKK is a joke. The Kardashians said so!'

Lest we not forget: false equivalence is the fallacy of our time. It gets worse from there:

But I think Kardashian does have a talent - exploiting the fetishization of women of color to line her own pocket. She's like a buck-naked Trojan horse for a devious message: that the rest of us shouldn't get our panties in a bunch about sexism and racism because, hey, Kim Kardashian is laughing about it. All the way to the bank.*

* Correction: This article has been amended because it's unclear whether Kardashian identifies as a woman of color. An earlier version of this post also misidentified Scott Disick.

So I guess this column basically does not exist because it is canceled out by its correction? Cool. Let it serve as a warning to future commentators: If Kim Kardashian, or the Kardashian family at large, bothers you, say it to a stone, crush the stone, and chew the pieces of stone until your teeth crack and blood fills your mouth. Do not write about it in a national newspaper. If an editor accepts your pitch, that person is a bad editor. There is nothing to say about the Kardashians, except that they are good businesspeople with an entertaining family dynamic and nice butts.

[Pic via Getty]