And Someone Painted Kim Kardashian's Butt With His Penis

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Note: This article contains graphic nudity that most will find inappropriate for work and potentially traumatic in general. Consider yourself warned.

If ever there was a sign of the apocalypse communicated to us lowly humans via acrylic paint, this is it. A Danish artist by the name of Uwe Max Jensen has created a painting of Kim Kardashian -- yes, of that photo -- using his penis as a paintbrush. Yup, the medium is the member, people.

@KimKardashian Pink portrait http://ift.tt/1yWWJDO

- Uwe Max Jensen (@SortSonofon) December 9, 2014

Jensen, who fancies himself an artist, journalist, and activist, according to his Twitter, tweeted an image of the artwork yesterday, along with a link to his blog.

The blog features some valuable insight from the artist including: 'It's always a challenge to smear an entire canvas using only the natural brush, but with the right attitude it goes anyway.' Also: 'If one is ill-equipped it is simply impossible to reproduce small details, if you have a proper swab [you're] obviously better suited to expressive painting.'

Jensen has also uploaded a series of very NSFW images chronicling the unorthodox making of the work, in which the artist's flaccid paintbrush is prominently displayed.

' I have my penis in one hand and the canvas in the other,' Jensen told the Daily Dot, and affirms in the aforementioned photos. 'I have a very skilled penis, art-wise.'

Uwe Max Jensen

Uwe Max Jensen

This isn't Jensen's first time dabbling in artworks that make us want to crawl under the bed and cry. The artist previously decapitated a statue of the Little Mermaid and urinated on an Olafur Eliasson sculpture. We never thought we'd say these words, but can you please go back to decapitating sculptures, Uwe?